Shinigami Naruto
by KingOfThemFansAlmighty
Summary: The Kyuubi wasn't the only thing sealed inside Naruto, when the Yondaime sealed half of the Kyuubi into himself, part of the Shinigami's power mixed with the foxes. What happens to our blonde shinobi now? Smart, strong Naruto. NaruXHarem pairing. Rated M for violence and language. Maybe sexual content.
1. Chapter 1

**Me: Hello people, once again I have come to attempt another fanfiction story. This will be my third try. So if you have the time, review and a little advice won't hurt. Anyways, enjoy!**

**And The Story Begins!**

**Humans, Demons, Gods, and Ramen**

Everything in Konoha was well, at least that's what Naruto thought. The young boy was currently struggling to hold on to all the scrolls in his arms at once, you know, it's hard to stay balanced when carrying 19 scrolls. Oddly enough, he had a huge grin on his face. Why? Well, in a few days, he become an academy student, and that means that he'll be one step closer in becoming Hokage. Quickly climbing the stairs to his apartment, he fumbled with the keys, before finally managing to open the door. Dumping all the scrolls on the floor, he shut the door before sitting down on the couch. _Thank god for intelligent people._ He thought. If the ninja who worked at the library thought he was a demon for no apparent reason, he probably never be a strong ninja. When 75% of the village despises you, you would most likely not get any help in becoming stronger.

Naruto grabbed one of the scrolls closest to him, opened it and started reading.

_Chakra Control and Exercises For Beginners_

_By Jaraiya of the Sennin_

_Chakra as you mostly know, is a mixture of spiritual and physical energy. In order to preform jutsu, one must have control over one's chakra to be able to use the jutsu without wasting chakra. if one was to add too much chakra into a jutsu, it could either become more powerful, or the extra chakra would be wasted. That is why shinobi must practice chakra control, to be able to save chakra and gain bigger chakra reserves._

_Practice 1_

_Tree-walking,_

_Tree-walking is the easiest of the two chakra control exercises, to walk on a sideways or upside-down platform, one must add the exact amount of chakra to their feet, too much, will break the platform, yet too little, and it won't work. Being able to do this exercise will improve your chakra control drastically, since chakra is the hardest to gather at the soles of one's feet._

Placing the scroll on the couch, before arranging the rest of the scrolls into a neat stack, then headed outside to practice. Reaching one of the training grounds that were empty, Naruto quickly ran toward the forest, before finding the tallest tree. "_If I don't manage to reach the top by the end of the day, I will have no ramen for the rest of the week."_ Naruto stopped his promise, before shivering._ "Why do I feel like I just acted like a youthful retard?"_

Somewhere, a certain green spandex-wearing shinobi sneezed, alerting the cat that quickly ran away from him. " YOSH, IF I DON'T CATCH TORA WITHIN FIVE MINUTES, I WILL DO 1000 LAPS AROUND KONOHA!"

**Back To Naruto**

Naruto sat huffing on the second tallest branch of the tree. Grinning, he carefully made his way down, before another attempt at reaching the top of the tree. Halfway there, Naruto slipped a little, but regained his balance before charging with all his might, and finally, he reached the top of the tree. Letting out a cheer, Naruto landed back down on the ground, before practicing it to perfection. Within two hours, he could practically cling to a tree on his back unconsciously. That was only cause he faint three-fourth of the way up. Deciding to end his training session, Naruto slowly made his way toward Ichiraku's Ramen Stand.

**At the Ramen Stand**

Naruto plopped down onto one of the chairs, before sighing contently at the scent of different flavors of ramen wafted out from the kitchen. "Five Hokage-sized miso-flavored ramen please!" He hollered. An old man's head popped out from behind the curtain leading to the kitchen. The old man was Teuchi, he had short brown hair and was 170cm. tall. "Oh, hello Naruto-kun! Ayame, get our best customer some ramen please!" He said toward the kitchen. "Way ahead of you." A female voice responded, before the girl known as Ayame came out with five, massive, steaming bowls of ramen. She was a pale, and skinny girl about 159cm tall with short, brown hair.

Naruto drooled at the sight as the ramen was placed in front of him, with a hurried mutter of the tradition Japanese phrase 'Itadakimasu' he dug into the ramen like an Akimichi at an All You Can Eat Buffet. When Naruto first came, Teuchi had asked him multiple times if he was a Akimichi, but then again, Naruto didn't have the Akimichi's 'pleasantly plump' bodies.

Gulping down the rest of the ramen, Naruto thanked them, payed, and then left, whistling happily on his way home. Reaching his home he sighed happily, rubbing his stomach before deciding to keep on reading the scroll.

_Chakra Control Exercise 2_

_Water-Walking._

_Water-walking is like tree-walking, but instead of just maintaining chakra at your feet, you need to release the exact amount of chakra for you to stay a float._

Naruto placed the scroll down again. He'd do that tomorrow, first thing in the morning. Right now, he needed sleep. Naruto brushed his teeth, took a quick shower, got dressed in his pajamas, and hopped into bed. Boy, what a day._  
_

**In Naruto's Mind**

Naruto closed his eyes, before opening them again, in a much different place. His eyes widened into dinner plates, staring owlishly at the massive cavern, with multiple bones and skulls littered on the rocky floor, all of a sudden, he felt something fuzzy crawling on his back, scared out of his mind, he whipped around, find a small, black fox, that lept off his shoulder, before staring back at the blonde.

"**So you finally came, eh? Well good riddance, it had been too boring in here.**"

Naruto's eyes widened again, before slowly turning his toward the massive humanoid creature standing there, arms crossed, lazily staring at Naruto. It was nearly completely white, it's long, spiky hair as pale as the moon, the monster's red eyes, looked as if they were staring straght at your soul, with the inhuman dark purple skin. Then,

"**BOO!**"

"Ahhhh! Freaky demon on the loose! Someone help me!"

Cried Naruto,before running towards the way he came from, only to have the monster thing block him.

"**You idiot imbecile of a human! I am not a demon, that fox is!**" He said pointing to a large cage in the cavern. "**I, am the God of Death, the Slayer of Souls, the Reaper of the Universe! I am no puny demon spawn like that Nine-Tailed Fox. I, am the SHINIGAMI!**"

Naruto looked confused, " You mean your the god that helped the Yondaime kill the Kyuubi?" The Shinigami sighed. "**Did you not hear what I just said? First it was the Yondaime who interrupts me, then the Fox who doesn't give a damn, and now it's you, you do realize I can seperate your soul from your body just by snapping my fingers?"**

Naruto stopped panicking, before thinking to what the Shinigami said. "So you mean that the Fox didn't die, and is in Hell, with you?" The Shinigami sweat-dropped.

"**You know what? Fuck this, I'll just tell you, so sit down, and get ready for a loong story.**"

Who knew the God of Death, liked telling stories on history? Oh, and he was a very good storyteller. Naruto sat their, entranced, as the Reaper of the Universe explained to him the series of events that occured on Naruto's birthday. After what seemed like 5 hours, they reached the end of the noble tale.

"So you're telling me, that the Nine-Tails Fox is sealed inside me, and because the Yondaime, who is also my father, sealed part of the Kyuubi's chakra into himself, using a technique including you, causing your energy with the Fox's, and got both of you stuck inside of me."

"**Yep."**

"Godammnit dad, why did you have to die?!"

To tell the truth, the Shinigami was suprised by Naruto's reaction to the story. Know a bit of human feelings and all, he thought that Naruto would get pissed that his dad sacrificed his own child, for the sake of the puny village, but this, this was unexpected.

"**Why aren't you cursing the Gaki when you are sad he died? He ditched you, for someone else! Why?**"

Naruto sighed, "Well, he's the Hokage, so I guess that he had to, to protect his village and home, and hoped that they'd see me as a hero. I guess he thought it was a win-win situation, but instead, the civlians, act like assholes." Suddenly, a rumbling chuckle was heard in the cage.

"**Hahaha, you're too soft, the Gaki put you afterthe village, he thought that power was greater than family, yet you forgive him in placing this burden in you? Are you mad?"**

Naruto looked at the Fox in anger. "Shut up! He would never have been like that! My dad was a caring man."

The Fox's laughter filled the cavern. "**Ha, that's what you think, but you are gifted, learning and mastering one chakra control exercise in one day, when you aren't even genin. I'll tutor you, but I still think you're stupid.**"

Naruto looked at the giagantic fox. "Gee, thanks!" The Shinigami sighed.

"**Then I guess I'll have to supervise you then, you never know if the Fuzz-Butt would eat you."**

**"Yeah, but first, change the freakin scenery, it looks as if a owl threw up here." **( Owls spit out the fur and bones of their prey, that's why, for people who don't know)

"And how do I do that, Fox-Sensei?" Naruto said with sarcasm.

"**Focus your mind on a grassy plain or something.**"

Naruto focused on the most pleasant thing he could think of, before ,he felt a plop, then, when he opened his eyes, he found himself surrounded in steaming noodles.

"**Not fucking ramen! How the fuck do I do anything in this shit!?**"

"It's not shit," Naruto retorted back, "it's the food of the gods!"

The Shinigami shivered, how the fuck did this kid know that? Was he a stalker?

Naruto focused again, on something pleasant, but not edible. This time, he dropped down with a 'clunk', landing in a mound of scrolls.

"**God DAMMIT, THINK OF A FUCKING ENVIRONMENT, YOU DUMBASS!**"

Naruto cringed, "_Geez, you going to make me deaf!" _Sadly, he would be meeting a even more loud, more deafening, pink-haired banshee. You know who. Naruto then focused again, on one of the Konoha Training Grounds. With another 'pop', Naruto landed on his feet, and upon opening his eyes, saw a large training field, plains, grass, lake,and trees. "_Perfect"_ He thought.

"**Finally, you made a place that wouldn't make people go crazy."**

Naruto stuck his tongue out at the Kyuubi. "Well, if you keep up with your stupid-ass remarks, I'll change this scene, into a ramen ocean again."

Kyuubi shivered, before rapidly shaking his head 'no'. "**Fine, I'll teach as long as you don't bring up anything about ramen." **Naruto nodded, "Fine, so now what do we do?"

**"Water walking." **Both the Shingami and Kyuubi said. Naruto nodded, "I read something on it in a scroll, I think I know what to do." Kyuubi nodded, and pointed at the Mind Sun.** "Every hour in this world is 30 minutes in the real world. Though you you don't need to sleep, because only your mind is working, so your body will feel refreshed when you wake up, but you might feel mentally tired, since your brain is working overtime." **

Naruto nodded, "Ok, I'll work on this for the rest of the week in my mind, since it means I get twice the time to train." The Kyuubi nodded.** "That's smart."** The Kyuubi turned to the Death God.** "I knew he was gifted." **

The Shinigami grunted, before admitting it grudgingly. "**He can already take ten steps, without falling in, even with a demon and god's chakra. I have to say, I'm impressed."**

TIME SKIP: FOUR MENTAL HOURS LATER.

Both the Shinigami and the Fox stared at Naruto in mild shock. He had mastered water walking, and was so exhuasted, he was sleeping, on water. "**Damn, he can control chakra that well, while unconscious!"** The Fox exclaimed. The God of Death nodded. "**He'll be very powerful with a little more training."**

TIME SKIP: TEN MENTAL HOURS LATER; THREE DAYS UNTIL ACADEMY OPENS.

Naruto stumbled back, gasping for breath as the other five Kage Bunshins, puffed out of existance. Within this time period, Kyuubi had taught him, the Kage Bunshin Technique, Shuriken Kage Bunshin no Jutsu, Invisibility Cloak, and worked on a taijutsu style, because with the Shinigami isnside him, Naruto can take a large amount of pain before feeling anything, and add that to the Fox's trickery, it was a combination of getting under one's guard before taking them out.

TIME SKIP: 96 MENTAL HOURS; ONE MORE DAY UNTIL ACADEMY OPENS

Naruto smiled, he had one helluva sensei, but as much as a idiot the Fox was, he and the Shinigami were very good teachers. In just 3 days, he learned three awesome jutsu, history, though the Death God just told him stories, a entirely new taijutsu style, and sadistic ways of torture and interrogation, stealth, and chakra sensing. That was one freaking hard lesson.

Now that Naruto was ready for the Academy, he went out to be some new clothes, since the regular bright orange jumpsuit was awful for stealth. he then went to a non-Naruto-Hater store and got a white t-shirt with the regular spiral in the middle of your back, a black version of the same shirt, a kunai-holder, new sandals, and a pair of blue, and white, shorts.

Walking home while grinning madly, Naruto reached his apartment, before nudging the door open, putting his clothes in the dresser, heated some ramen, then finally sitting down to rest.

"**Hey kit, Ghost-Eye and I got a surprise for you. Come into your mindscape.**"

The Shinigami had also worked up a telepathic messaging system in his head, allowing them to talk, without Naruto spacing out.

**In The Mindscape**

Naruto appeared, seeing Kyuubi and the Shinigami playing Just Dance 4 on the Mental Wii that Naruto made for entertainment, along with the PS3, two 3DS's, two IPad 3's, and a 70" Plasma Screen TV.

"You called for me, Fuzzy? They also made nicknames for each other, the Shinigami was, Ghost-Eye, Kyuubi was Fuzzy, and Naruto was, well, Gaki.

"**Ah, yes, well since you have amazing chakra control, we decided you should get our summoning contracts."**

Naruto gaped."You mean those contracts that allow you to summon stuff?"

"**Yeah, stuff, so now you can summon Foxes and Dead Demons." The hand-signs are Boar, Dog, Bird, Monkey, and Ram. though you have to have some blood out too, you probably know this already."**

Naruto nodded, "Yep, so you sign your name with the blood on your hand, do the hand-signs, place your hand on the ground and 'bamf'."

Kyuubi nodded, before both him and the Shinigami went through the same series of hand-signs, before two rathe big scrolls appeared. Naruto then un rolled both scrolls, bit each hand, before righting the Dead Demons scroll with his right hand and the Fox scroll with his left hand.

"**Go ahead and give it a try Gaki, I'm betting he gets an adult sized summon." **

The Shinigami nodded, "**That, or something bigger."**

Naruto went through the hand-signs quickly, before slamming both hands on the ground, yelling, "Kuchiyose Summoning!" A massive snow-white fox appeared, along with a half devil half lion thing. It had flaming wings, with blood-red eyes, the things entire body covered in bulging muscles.

**"Hello summoner, how may I help you today?"**

**"Hello summon guy, watcha want?**

They said. Naruto stared in shock at them, before shaking his head to clear his mind. Before jumping up and down, yelling, "I DID IT!" Both the Fox and God stared at him. So little yet so...AWESOME.

**"Gaki, nice job, summoning a phase 3 summon, not bad. You should get some sleep, tomorrow you'll be going through boring stuff."**

**AAAAAAAAAND CUT!**

**Me: I hope you liked my first chapter, advice can be given, and I hoped you enjoyed. Oh, and by the way, should I bash Sasuke? I'm torn in bring Itachi to the good side and letting them bond, or should I make him stuck-up bastard-er. Answer in the poll I set up on my account page. See ya next time!**

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO**


	2. Chapter 2

**Me: Welcome back to the story! Anyways, I hope you've enjoyed my first chapter, and this is the second!**

**Favorites:25**

**Follows:35**

**Reviews:10**

**Review Corner.**

**eroseniye: Thank you for the suggestion, I will keep it in mind.**

**hollownature: I will try not to stop half way, but if there's like some big test, I might have to post-pone it.**

**KillerDonut: Thanks.**

**Guest: I can try that, yes, and OF COURSE I GONNA BASH SAKURA, SHE IS A VERY BITCHY BANSHEE!**

**Guest2: Thank you.**

**Keiron: I can add Ino and Tayuya, maybe Anko, but I don't think Shizuka would go well with Naruto, since she is in love with someone else (Sagiri, I think) and she only had to marry Naruto because of clan policy or something.**

**Keiron: No, it won't have "Bleach" stuff, I'm not a fan of "Bleach" and I don't know jack shit about it. Maybe some of my made up stuff may remind of something in it but I'm just saying, I made it up.**

**Guest3: I'll probably right more and more for each chapter later, I just started, so it might be small at first.**

**Anyways, the poll had 24 votes, with "No, make him a weak asshole." with 13, "Yes, and bring Itachi back" with 7, "No, but he doesn't go to Orochimaru" with 3, and "Yes, but keep him strong" with only 1. The poll officially closes NOW. Those who gave their opinion, faved, followed, or reviewed, thank you very much.**

**And here is the entire summary:**

**Naruto didn't have only the Fox sealed inside him, when the Yondaime sealed half of the Fox's energy into himself using the Shiki Fuin, the Shinigami's power mixed with the Nine-Tails' chakra. Slight Sasuke bashing, Council Bashing, Sakura bashing, good Danzo. NarutoxHarem. Slight God-like Naruto.**

**Harem girls so far are:**

**Haku**

**Fu**

**Hinata.**

**Others for later.**

**Sorry for the slow update, had two science projects, a math and history test, and homework. On Tuesday, there's no school, so I'll start on the 3rd chapter.**

**-('_')-**

**On to the story. **

**Time Skip, one week before graduation.**

Naruto sighed, as he walked into the classroom, wondering what team he'd be on after he graduated, well IF he graduated. Though he was pretty sure he would. Naruto sat by Shino, trying to avoid attention. Well... It failed.

"Dobe! Give me your power." Sasuke yelled.

Naruto could only sigh, if he got duck-hair and banshee on their team he would prank their jonin sensei, the Hokage, and the Monument,even though the last one did nothing. "No, I will not give you my power, you might fuck people up with it."

Then he'd run out of Konoha and yell to the world he wants to die.

Then, a certain banshee joined in. "NARUTO-BAKA, YOU BETTER GIVE SASUKE-KUN YOUR POWER, IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE HIS!"

Naruto cringed, clapping his hands over his ears, careful not to go deaf. "No, now shut up, we are reviewing stuff for the test, even though I know everything by now, someone wants to prove to Sasgay, that they're awesome."

Sakura brightened, before going back to study the mound of notes. Just to make Sasuke-kun to love her.

Sasuke kept on glaring at Naruto hoping that his sharingan will activate and trap him in a very powerful genjutsu. He was then interupted when Naruto flicked his forehead away, "I can't stand you." Naruto simply said.

A Hyuga currently thinking how awesome Naruto was and wished she was like that. "_Wow, Naruto-kun is so cool, I want to be like_ _that_." She blushed slighty, glancing at the blonde once or twice.

Then Iruka came in, placing textbooks on each of the students desks. "Today we will review what happened 11 years ago, on October 10th." He said.

"YOU MEAN WHEN NARUTO-BAKA CAME INTO THE WORLD WHEN KYUUBI WAS KILLED?!" Sakura screamed out, before glancing at Sasuke, to see if he noticed, before she giggled madly.

**Time Skip, Academy Graduation Day.**

Naruto sat at his usual spot, Shikamaru behind him with Choji, Hinata on the right, Shino on the left, and Kiba in front. Today was finally the day he could become genin and stay away from the arrogant assholes. (COUGH COUGH, SASUKE, SAKURA.) Iruka came in smiling proudly at all of them. "I am glad to say that most of you will graduate," Then he looked right at Naruto.

"Though some of you are really lazy." This earned snickers from the rest of the kids. Naruto sighed. "_Not my fault I already know what you teach, and that I get more training in my head done._" He thought.

Iruka kept on going, "If you graduate, you will officially become ninja, but at the lowest level, a genin, being a ninja isn't about the battles and training, it is about protecting what is most important to you, and serving your village..." Naruto prepared to fall asleep again, until Iruka finished the lecture.

" There will be 3 parts of the test, Intelligence, Physical, and Ninjutsu section. You will take a written test for the Intelligence section, a kunai-throwing and combat for the Physical section, and you will preform the academy jutsu for the Ninjutsu section. Any questions?" Seeing there were none, he began passing out the tests. "As soon as you get the test, begin."

Naruto got the test and stared at it, none of the questions made sense.

"How do you preform a kunai technique, by using morse code?"

"Who were the three jutsu, and what were their handsigns?

"Name a vital shuriken."

Naruto raised his hand, and Iruka came over. "Iruka-sensei, there is a genjutsu on my test right?" Iruka nodded in shock, who knew that someone who slept more than a Nara could figure that out? But then again, it was quite easy. Naruto then released the genjutsu, then finished the questions with full, correct answers, all the while with Iruka standing there, flabbergasted. "I'm done."

Iruka nodded dumbly, taking his paper and going back to his desk. When he looked at Naruto again, he was fast asleep.

**In Naruto's Mind-scape  
**

"Hi guys, how are you doing?" Naruto asked.

"**DAMMIT DEAD DUDE!"**

Naruto was blown back by the booming voice, landing on his ass on the lake, so he was water-sitting. When he looked over, he saw the Kyuubi and the Shinigami playing Minecraft, the Death God had a full set of fully enchanted, diamond armor and a fully enchanted bow and diamond sword, with 18 stacks of arrows. Kyuubi on the other hand, had a wooden sword, and leather armor. No bow or arrows. The Shinigami's bow had Knock-back 6, so he knocked the Fox off a cliff, killing him.

Naruto laughed nervously, when the Kyuubi got pissed, you'd get pissed on, literally. Thankfully it's hard to get him on a full insane rampage, he only does it when a sharingan user is around, a small chance of that. Kyuubi and Shinigami nodded at him in acknowledgement, before going back to their game.

Naruto continued sitting on the lake, making 100 shadow clones, sending groups of 25 to practice: making shadow clones, sparring other clones, practicing the techniques the two Minecraft players taught him, and others, summoning stuff, before dispelling them. This went on for 2 hours, before he was waken up by Iruka, who sent him to the next part of the exam.

**Outside**

Naruto sat down, observing all the matches between the students and Mizuki, one of the chunin instructors. When it was finally his turn, he stepped up before getting into the academy style's taijutsu. Mizuki sneered at him, before spitting out the rules.

"You have to try and hit me, and survive when I attack you." He spat. Naruto simply nodded waiting for Mizuki to charge at him, and the chunin did just that, aiming a fist straight at the blonde's head thinking he would end the match in mere seconds.

And he missed.

Naruto simply side-stepped the swing, grabbing Mizuki's arm, swinging him over his head before slamming Mizuki onto the ground. Before the instructor could recover, he punched him in the gut, picked him up, kneed him in the back, before jabbing Mizuki in the face, sending him over the watching crowd, before landing near the door to the academy, and right when Iruka opened the door to check everyone's progress. Iruka's wide eyes looked down at Mizuki, before going to the other kids, then at Naruto, who stood there, like nothing happened.

They had to take a break, for Mizuki to heal, since half the class didn't finish the exam yet. As the rest of the kids were playing outside, Naruto and the rest of the future Rookie 9 not including Sasuke and Sakura sat inside, eating their lunch as they talked about this day's events.

"Can you believe you did that? You just beat a chunin without breaking sweat! That was beast!" Kiba cried, "Arf!" Barked Akamaru, adding his own two cents.

"Y-y-yes, y-yo-you d-did v-v-very w-well, N-Naruto-kun." Hinata stammered, blushing, when Naruto gave her a warm smile. "Gee, thanks guys, it wasn't that great." That was when a pink banshee ruined the fun.

"NARUTO-BAKA, YOU DELAYED MY SASUKE-KUN GETTING ROOKIE OF THE YEAR, AND YOU HURT OUR TEACHER, YOU SHOULD NOT BE A NINJA!" Sakura screamed, attempting to punch him. Keyword attempted. Her fist was caught by the blonde, who twisted her arm, receiving a startled yelp from the banshee. "RELEASE MY HAND YOU DEMON!" She cried. Naruto dropped her hand, snapping his head up, looking at her straight in the eyes. His eyes had changed, from the usual electric blue, to red pupils, in a pitch black space.

"**Demon? Is that what you see me as? Give me one good reason why I should not rip you arms and legs off, before shoving them up your candy-ass?!" **The room was flooded with a massive amount of killer intent, and three ANBU jumped down from the roof, weapons drawn, all pointing at Naruto. **"And you bastards, think the S-Class secret was secret at all, they expressed their feelings of me being the Kyuubi! Why should I not let the Kyuubi loose then? Hmm?"**

"Naruto, that is not necessary, we can talk about it." The ANBU said, with fake authority in his voice, since he was visibly shaking. Thankfully, Naruto calmed down. "I'm sorry guys. Didn't mean to scare you." He apologized. His friends were at a loss of words, before Kiba yelled, "That was...freaking awesome!" He yelled. "You scared ANBU, man, that is AWESOME."

Naruto laughed at the comment. Soon, everything turned back to normal, but all the ninja children all had one thought running through their minds.

"_What did he mean by, Kyuubi?"_

Finally, after Mizuki recovered, the rest of the class sparred with him, though they were lucky, since Mizuki's movements were stiff, due to the damage done to him by Naruto. Then was the kunai-throwing. Naruto hit all ten bulls-eyes. With Sasuke with nine bulls-eyes. For the ninjutsu section, Naruto had made a solid henge, telling Iruka to poke "Iruka". He then Kawarmi'ed with Kakashi, when he was sitting down, causing him to fall on his ass, much to his discomfort. Then for the Clone Technique, he asked if he could use Shadow Clones, but Iruka disagreed, saying it was too dangerous. Still Naruto did it, making 30 Shadow Clones, then making 135 normal clones.

**Time Skip, next day.**

"I'm glad to say that most of you will become promising ninja, remember those who work together and believe in themselves, have unbreakable wills, do not act independently, unless the situation calls for it, from now on, you are genin and have comrades, those who you will work side by side with, until you are chunin, but even then, you will do missions with them." Iruka paused, then smiled. "These are the teams, meet your sensei here tomorrow at 10:00. Team 1... Naruto waited patiently for his named to be called. Team 7, your sensei will be Kakashi Hatake, with Naruto Uzumaki, Sasuke Uchiha, and Sakura Haruno."

**"BANG!"**

A loud thud was heard, Iruka looked up from his board, to see the normally lazy blonde look at him madly. The desk in front of him had been smashed in two. " You can't be serious! I would never cooperate with those to assholes! Put me with someone else. PLEASE!" He cried out. Iruka looked at Naruto apolegetically, "Sorry, these are the teams that were chosen, unless you go argue with the Hokage, I can't change them." That was when Naruto disappeared, as demonic green flames covered the area where he was, before vanishing into nothingness.

**At the Hokage Monument.**

The Third Hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi, could be seen behind a massive pile of paperwork, signing paper after paper, either denying a civilian the right to harm Naruto, or allowing more security measures in the village. All that was interrupted when Naruto appeared in the same demonic green flames from the academy. "Old man! Why would you put me on a team made of a stuck-up asshole and a banshee!?" He yelled. The ANBU responsible in hiding/guarding the Hokage couldn't help but feel sympathetic toward the blonde, I mean, both were arrogant dicks.

"Then who would you want on your team then, Naruto-kun?" Hiruzen chose his words carefully, careful not to anger the blonde more. If he said that he was the laziest and needed encouragement, he would be wrong. He had seen what happened in his crystal globe, when someone said ramen sucked. Naruto had made 500 hundred freaking Shadow Clones, all with weird pale-white shrouds surrounding them. Then they turned into that one civilian, before the original Naruto blew them into bits. Then there was another incident when a bunch of chunin had raided his house, before burning it. Naruto had went to a training ground and changed the entire enviroment of it, one that could rival the "Forest of Death", one with man-eating foxes and giant demons, and thick fog that made you hallucinate. Before disappearing inside. One of the ANBU went to investigate, and came back with 4 broken ribs, internal bleeding, a concussion, low chakra, one arm ripped off, a injured knee, and mental instability. It took Inouchi and Ibiki 2 weeks to get him into a healthy mental condition, and took 1 month for him to physically heal too.

Naruto had finally been found, before being sent to the Hokage, where Hiruzen told him about the injuries on the ANBU. Naruto just smiled sheepishly, told the Hokage that he said sorry, and left.

Of course Hiruzen had thought Anko and Naruto were both sadistic, but no one would want to be on Anko's team because of that. While he was deep in his thoughts, Naruto had grabbed the team assignment sheets and stared at it.

"There's one team with five people." He said, snapping the Hokage out of his thoughts. "If you took that guy and put it with Kakashi's team, then you could put me with that Anko person that is free." The Hokage nodded, the plan sounded reasonable, now all he had to do was to convince Anko.

**Time** **skip**.

After what seemed like 10 hours of negotiating, Anko finally agreed to train Naruto, Hiruzen had to threaten her with D-Ranks, tell her about the incident on Training ground 13, and tell her his actual parentage. Finally, Anko agreed.

"Fine I'll train the Gaki, but we will not do D-Ranks, C-Ranks at worst OK?" She demanded. After all, Konoha's Snake Mistress would not be seen chasing a cat. (COUGH, COUGH, TORA, Cough)

"Meet me at the Dango Shop tomorrow at 6:00, if you're late for one second, I will make you run 500 laps around Konoha." She said, before shunshin'ing away. The Hokage smiled, "I hope you survive Naruto-kun."

Naruto stared at him oddly. "What? She seems OK." How wrong he was.

**Time skip, Next day. At the academy.**

Iruka walked in to the classroom, holding the board for teams. "Ok, class, SETTLE DOWN!" Yelled Iruka, preforming the infamous Big Head jutsu. The class quickly became silent, as Iruka sighed. "OK, we will go over the Teams, before your jonin senseis pick you up. Team-" Just then, Naruto flew through the window, landing in front of Iruka. "HiIrukasenseihowyadoin'here'sdaHokage'snewteamsetupbyegottagothere isaexANBUca ptainchasingme." Naruto quickly blathered out, handing Iruka a new sheet of paper, before jumping out of a different window. Just then, Kakashi came in from the window Naruto came in.

"WHERE IS HE?! WHERE IS THAT BASTARD WHO TOOK MY ICHA ICHA? DDDIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!" He screamed, his eye blood-shot , darting around all over the place, before spotting the other broken window. Before jumping out yelling, "THIS IS WAR, UZUMAKI!" Everyone sat in silence, trying to get over the fact that that man used to be an ANBU captain. Most of the kids wre freaked out by the spasming man.

_"HE IS SO NOT LIKE SASUKE-KUN! NOT COOL! CHA!"  
_

_"That man is troublesome.."  
_

_"FOOD, FOOD, THAT MAN DOESN'T HAVE FOOD."  
_

_"Screaming at children is not a logical way to get them to acknowledge and obey you.."  
_

_"EWW, HIS CLOTHES ARE SO NOT FASHIONABLE."  
_

_"KILL ITACHI, GAY, KILL ITACHI, GAY, BEHEAD ITACHI, GAY, SKIN ITACHI, GAY, STAB ITACHI, GAY, RIP OPEN ITACHI, GAY, SLICE ITACHI, GAY BLOW ITACHI UP, GAY, BURN ITACHI, GAY, IITTAACCHHHIIIIIIII DDDIIIIEEEEEE! GGAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY!" *Repeat one million times. Chant.*  
_

**Flashback At 4:00**_  
_

As Naruto saw the Dango shop, he made a hundred Shadow Clones, splitting them up in groups of 25: one for chakra-control, another for target practice, taijutsu' and ninjutsu. Before sending them to Training Ground 13. Naruto walked into the Dango shop, 5 minutes before expected by Anko. Sighing, he sat down at the farthest booth, ordering some dango, waiting for his jonin-sensei. After 4 minutes, Anko walked in, walking over to where Naruto at. "Never thought you'd actually be on time." She said grinning at the boy. "And how did you know this was my favorite stand?"_**  
**_

Naruto shrugged, "I didn't know, it was quiet, you could track everyone, and was safe." Anko's grin widened. "Great minds think alike." "_I wonder if he likes torture and interrogation?" _Just then, the dango was brought to the table. "And you ordered dango? Thanks." The Snake-Mistress said, before grabbing 7 sticks, shoving hem in her mouth.

After she was finished, Anko explained her test to Naruto. 'So you're saying I need to find a man with silver, gravity-defying hair, who you call Cyclops, snatch his Icha Icha orange book, take it and run for 3 hours, go to the Hokage's Office, get the new teams, give them to Iruka-sensei, and survive the Cyclops Rage in Training Ground 13?" He said, before taking a deep breath. "Yep." Was all Anko said. "You are very sadistic."

"Glad you noticed, now leave."

Naruto headed out, searching the streets for suspicious looking one-eyed people reading books. The he made Shadow Clones, to shorten the time to find him. All of the other Narutos jumped away, leaping from rooftops. The original Naruto decided to visit the Old Man, and to ask him if he new where was. As he reached the Hokage Tower, instead of gong through the front door, he went through a window. To stay away from the secretary, or else she wouldn't allow him to see the Hokage. Naruto opened the window to the Hokage's Office. Jumping in, only to see multiple jonin and one old man staring at him. "Haha, um, hi guys." Naruto said, very embarrassed that he came in at the wrong time. The Hokage sighed. "Wrong place, wrong time, Naruto-kun."

Then Naruto turned to Hiruzen, "Do you know a man with silver, gravity-defying hair, that has one eye, reading a orange book titled "Icha Icha"?" Hiruzen stared at Naruto, along with everybody else. Before the room was filled with mad laughter. A single man, who was busy reading his Icha Icha, acted as if nothing happened. The next 20 seconds was madness.

"Sorry, I have nothing against you, but this is Anko's test." Naruto said in 8 seconds.

Naruto jumped over to said man, grabbing his book. In 4 seconds.

Jumped out the window in 2 seconds.

Took Cyclops a moment to process what just happened. In 3 seconds.

3 seconds later, all hell broke loose.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Cyclops yelled, taking a very dramatic pose, as if he was just shot in the chest. His hair actually looked like it was drooping. He looked down, shadows covering his eye, before a glimmer shone in the darkness. Cyclops then yelled a very colorful sentence that the author does not wish to repeat. Cyclops then jumped out the window, following Naruto. Everyone stood in silence for a moment. "Now I know why Kakashi's hair was always _erected._" A man smoking a cigar said, then chuckled at his own pun.

"Not funny Asuma, not funny."

**Time skip, 3 hours later.**

And here they were, standing within the foggy clearing, with low growls and chattering all around them. Naruto, even with all his stamina had to admit that that was very chase. "Ah, wait a sec, need to, huff, rest." He mumbled, dropping down to the ground. Being chased by insane, ex-ANBU captains are not what you would do for an everyday warm-up thing. Cyclops did not let him rest, instead charged right at him.

"Shinigami Art: Foggy Disappearance."

Naruto said under his breath. Naruto slowly melted into the fog, comepletely disappearing, but Cyclops thought he couldn't get away in time, and rushed on. What he didn't expect was to rush into the fog, but the moment he went in, and turned back, there was infinite fog behind him.

"**Shinigami Art: Trickery Fog. And no, this is not a Kirigakure technique."**

Kakashi spun around in circles, comepletely losing track of direction. Somewhere, in a nearby tree, Anko sat with her dango, watching the show. "_That's some cool assassination jutsu, I wonder if he can teach it to me?__" _Kakashi placed a hand on his headband. "You have forced me to use my special weapon, yet you are only genin, I commend you on your skills."

Cyclops lifted his headband up, revealing a fully matured sharingan. "Give me my precious Icha Icha and I will let you live." Naruto sighed, the sharingan was a surprise, but the Fox and the God of Death told him that the Trickery Fog can't be seen through by sharingan, byakugan, or even rinnegan. "Sorry, I have to survive something called a "Cyclops Rage". So until Anko tells me to stop I won't give the book back. Cyclops raised an eyebrow. So Anko was behind this eh? Well two can play the same game!

"Was it Anko who gave you this mission?" Kakashi asked. Naruto came out of the fog, "Yes, why do you care about that?" Kakashi smiled, well, eye-smiled, since he had a mask on, with his headband covering his left eye. "(Left is right? Or is it right?)

"Well, since I am your superior, I demand you to give my book back." He said, thinking he had won. "And since I am Anko's superior, she can do nothing about it." Kakashi then put his hand out, showing Naruto that he needed the book, NOW. Naruto simply stood there, not moving a muscle. "Well too bad, you are not superior to the Hokage, so that means I won't follow your commands." Naruto said, showing him the paper with the Hokage's signature on it.

And Kakashi snapped.

He rushed at Naruto and aimed a kick at his stomach, where Naruto avoided by side-stepping, then Naruto grabbed Kakashi's leg, twisting it, trying to unbalance the jonin. Said jonin, twisted with his foot, trying to slam it against Naruto's head, but was caught by the blonde's arm. The jonin placed both hands on the ground, before heaving Naruto and his legs up into the air, slamming the blonde on the ground. That was met by a poof, and when the jonin looked over, their was smoke. "_Shadow Clone?_

Kakashi jumped back right in time, before a giant, red fox burst from the place he stood a moment ago. "Oh, you have a summoning contract with the foxes, nice."

Naruto grinned,"No, not just the fox contract." He said while doing the handsigns, boar, dog, bird, monkey, then finally, ram. Before yelling, "Kuchiyose Summoning!" Kakashi, expecting a fox again, ran forward, so he could land the first hit, and dispell the summon. Kakashi's fist smashed into flesh, and when the smoke cleared, his arm was grabbed by a giant humanoid monster, with one eye and massive fangs. "Cyclops verses Pervert Cyclops, begin!" Naruto yelled, before jumping back. Right when the summon Cyclops swung Kakashi above his head, before Kakashi turned into a log. "What's with you and academy jutsu?" Naruto asked.

Kakashi said nothing, before spewing a massive fireball at the summon Cyclops, dispelling it. "Summons will never defeat me!" He cried, spitting out fireballs one after another. A cry of pain was heard in the mist, and Kakashi followed the sound in the search of his precious book. Walking in to a clearing, the fog began to dissolve, before there was no fog anywhere. Naruto wasn't anywhere to be seen either.

"**Shinigami Art: Flames of the Blood Demons!"**

Kakashi was surrounded by green, demonic flames, before the whole clearing was engulfed with them. Except where the jonin was standing. Spinning around in circles, all Kakashi could see were the crackling flames. Before he heard a voice.

"**Come on Kakashi, you'll never be able to beat me when holding back, use your most powerful technique."**

**"Can you find me?"**

The voice was demonic sounding, and Kakashi strained his sharingan to see any signs of different chakra. He stopped searching when Naruto appeared right in front of him. "I guess you can't." Kakashi jabbed at Naruto stomach, forcing the blonde to move to the side, which Kakashi thought would make him burn with his own jutsu. What he didn't expect was Naruto to catch his blow, twist his arm and send him into the fire.

Thankfully, he Kawarmi'ed just in time. Kakashi was truly getting desperate. One would remember him saying, "Those who break the rules are scum, those who abandon their teammates are worse than scum." So right now, he didn't want to kill his sensei's son, but he needed his BOOK!" Then he thought of something. He could harm him, like a chidori to the arm, and then take the book, them bring him to the hospital and all will be fine. Naruto was heading his way, so Kakashi quickly charged up a chidori.

**In a Nearby Tree, Where Anko Was Sitting.**

Anko was eating her yummy dango, before seeing the mass amount of lightning surrounding Kakashi's hand. "_Oh shit! Chidori-Naruto=Doom+D-Ranks!" _She thought. "Naruto! Run away! Before it's too late!" But it came out as, "Neptune! Pun a gay! Eat whore feet cum rate!" Naruto stopped his advance on Kakashi's position, turning and staring at Anko's direction. "What the Hell does that mean?!" He said, puzzled. He turned back toward Kakashi, ignoring the funky hand dance Anko was doing, only to see a lightning-covered hand, rushing straight at him. "Oh shit." Was all he said.

Anko stared disbelievingly at the blood splattered body of her student. The first day, and he died? She watched blankly as Kakashi bent down to pick up his book. Though before he could touch it, both the book and Naruto poof'ed into nothingness. Anko sighed, happy that her genin did not go to Hell.

Naruto used his Hell Flame Shunshin and appeared next to Anko.

"You pass."

"Can I give him the book before he wants to fuck with me again?"

"No shit, of course you can."

**Aaaaaaannnddddddd... CUT! **

**Me: Did you like it? It was longer, so yay! I personally thought it was pretty good, I had to delete the entire fight part once, because it was too cheesy, anyways, I hope you enjoyed, Read, Review, Favorite/Follow, thanks for the encouragement! **

**Signing off,**

**BOOP **


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